excuse my english and pardon my french

Friday, July 01, 2005

the thing with putting your honest and most unpretentious thoughts on the net is the risk that anyone would be able to read them and judge u for it. unless u have an ultra thick skin, odds would have it, this thought would be lingering at the back of your mind, either subconciously or otherwise, when u start a blog.
if you're gonna say:
"oh no, not me. i dun give 2 hoots bout wat others think of me, nuh-uh,"
chances are either you're one of the elite few who really actually feel that way, or you're more pretentious than i thought, and more often than not, it is the latter.

i mean, lets face it, who doesnt wanna be liked, OR RATHER, who wants to be called a bitch, if one can help it?

unless you set up a private blog and share it only with your close friends like octi *nice move octi* who's to say friends of friends of friends or that snotty bitch cum enemy u knew back in high school might not chance upon this blog someday and judge you based solely on your posts and then decide they know you inside out simply after skimming through your blog *or reading in great details, if u will, it doesnt make a difference, really..*

i must concede, i too, am guilty of that offence sometimes.

see...., its alright sharing it with friends, cos if you're like me, you'd have always been frank with them anyways. and considering they know you beforehand, they would not take your comments out of context. but i cant say the same for 'strangers' now, can i?

hmm, after rambling after so long, i am suddenly now convinced i have digressed much too far from the original point i was trying to deliver, and now i cant recall my real purpose of starting this post. wait lemme think.....................................................still thinking..................................................................................

oh ok, i remember now.

sometimes i get into a dilemma of both wanting and not wanting every tom, dick or harry to read my blog.

the reasons i enjoy keeping a blog are:

1. i could keep my friends updated on my train of thoughts and experiences exactly when they happened, which couldnt always be possible if youve more than one group of cliques and you dun meet all of them everyday.

2. i find that its easier to recall these events and discuss bout them when we meet cos they all have a common background knowledge on wats happening and i dun have to repeatedly regurgitate the details.
3. when i am particularly strongly opinionated bout a certain issue, its clearer to pen down my feelings rather than battle them in my head.

4. writing at my own pace also implies i get to think over an issue lucidly and thoroughly vs immeidately rattling it off where its probably ladened with emotions and initial biaseness.

its just that, sometimes, i dun think i m ready to bear my soul to strangers the way i do to friends. i dun think i ever will. more accurately, i dun think i'd even want to. and u need that certain degree of openess if u want to be unpretentious. but oh boy, the number of people i'd insult.......

hmmm, i m considering a pte blog now.. only i love blogger! pity blogger doesnt have such a feature.

now i'm not saying every tom, dick or harry is reading my blog of cos, heck no. my bf n his friends agreed, to rank that high in sg, u will need to flash some tits or dish out some sex posts or paste some makeover photoshopped shots of yourself or do all of the above. no, i'm not about to do that, thank u v much.

besides if i do have such a blog, n if you dun already know the existence of such a blog, chances are you'd never get to find out anyways.

only i dun have such a blog of cos..

r.z 12:48 AM 0 comments