Sunday, December 18, 2005

read a random blog bout this blogger who lost her mum recently. and the feelings she penned down resonated hard at me. death of a close family member changes you forever. i felt that when my granny passed away. there would always be this gap in your life that can never be filled by any other person. its been close to seven years, but theres not a day since that i didnt miss her. i still feel the loss, still wished she is still here, still wished that i had done things a little differently-perhaps treated her a little better, appreciated her a little more. now that she is gone, i know i would give up almost anything to have her back and see her another time, to tell her how much i really really love her and tell her shes the most wonderful granny anyone can have. i'd hold her and never let go, much as i know i cant.

sometimes, more often than we liked to admit, we tend to take our loved ones for granted, let our feelings and ego get the better of us and assume that they'll always be there with us. but when they're gone, all you have left are memories and you'd wished you'd had made more of that when u had the chance, for its never enough. suddenly things that she wore, slept on or held becomes very very precious to you. eveywhere you turn, theres bound to be things that reminded you of her, a single strand of her white hair from her bed and her scent still lingered on the pillowcase, her favourite blanket, her towel making you feel that she was still there. so you cling on every little thing that is her.

little by little these physical reminders fade away but her presence in your life never cease.

my granny's death made me sit up, reorganize my priorities and made me appreciate my family a lot more. it made me treasure all the little moments i have with my parents and concentrate on making them happy, putting smiles on their faces whenever i can in the little ways i know how. making them happy means the world to me now.

its funny and more than a little sad that it takes something as grim as a death of a loved one to jolt me out of my selfish, egoistic skin and influence me to become a better person to my family. its a rude, shocking wake-up call and a lesson that comes at a very, very dear price....

r.z 1:02 AM  0 comments