Sunday, April 30, 2006

for the past yr and a half i have been waiting for the chance to reapply to this profession. for the past yr half i have been in this line, doing wat you might call 'temp position'.

despite the instability that someone permanent might replace me anytime, despite being paid at a daily rate, despite not being eligible for the perks, bonus and wat-nots this past yr, i am happy doing wat i do. very happy.

not a day goes by when i dun feel eager to join this profession proper and make a career out of it. every single day convince me that this is the job i have been searching for. this is one job that leaves me thirsty for more, that leaves me fulfilled at my day's end. it gives me the opportunity to impact and make a difference to lives while enriching mine in the process.

i could come up with various different descriptions to tell you how much i love the job. but i will stick to this:

it makes me happy.

as simple as that.

so you can imagine how badly i want this job. (no wait, you cant.) how eagerly i have been anticipating this interview. for one year, i have been rehearsing lines in my head, answers to questions that they might ask. not so much so that i appear prepared and well-rehearsed, but because certain experiences during my term inspire me so, i find myself learning so much from them.

i know if i were to fail this time round (yes, this isnt my first time trying out for the job) it would be nothing short of depressing, esp since i have 2 very strong testimonials to back me up.

tat would also mean, i would have to wait another one full yr before reapplying. should i fail, i m not confident i m gonna stay around again, i might want to move on. remain in the same profession because of my sheer love for it, but perhaps with a different organization.

so anyways, i went for the much-awaited interview. i was fiercely secretive about telling anyone bout the interview becos:

1. i wanted this job soo badly i wanted to keep everything under wraps. i dun need the hype and the "how did it go?" by buggers couldnt care less how you do during the interview but just want in on the juicy details.

2. should i fail, i dun need their "aww... but wwhhhyyyyy? wat went wrongggg? aiyah, they weird one la!" with sympathy in their voices and doleful looks on cue. it doesnt help. really. i wish theyd stop acting like they care, you know. i dun need their feigned sympathy.

applicants would receive their replies in 15 days. however, its a known fact that successful applicants would receive the reply within 10.

yesterday was Day 10, ladies and gents.

there was no reply. and in case you are wondering: nope, not today either.

i m quite devastated. 'quite' being an understatement.

life goes on. so must i.

r.z 1:13 AM  0 comments