Sunday, October 29, 2006

I think I finally understood why I always get a bit uncomfortable visiting the some malay wedding forums, and discussing my weddings with a handful group of people. It always leaves me feeling unsettled, like having an itch on my back that I just cant scratch. And today, I finally figured out why I have always had that nagging feeling.

Note: due to the highly presumptious nature of a portion of the text, the following bit has been struck off (yet uncut, note the difference). while it still does convey my feelings and general idea on the issue, i recognise that my descriptions are somewhat exaggerated and might not reflect any actual text you would care to find in any of the wedding forums.
while i do play things one notch up a bit at times, i draw the line between playful jest and malicious slander. a rumourmonger i am not.
hence, the strike.


Whether aware of it or not, these people are having a waging a little competition with each other. Its like a mini state poll going on there, its almost pathetic. Whose wedding is grander, who invites the most guests? Whose buffet spread is tastier? Whose figure is nicer? Whose chair cover is plusher? Cleverly embedded in the thread messages, subtlely hidden amongst the 'oh-i-wish-you-all-the-best-for-your-weddings-i-hope-it-goes-well…oh and btw, I have engaged si-polan-binte-si-polan for my face and hair and make-up and oh, here’s someone to perm my armpit hair too. Do you think 50 grand is enough for the renovation?' *rolls eyes..*
yesh, very subtle indeed, akak.

All the menunjuk-nunjuk (show-off) culture is making me a tad sick. I tell you, this whole comparison saga is so tiresome.One may ask, who are you planning to show-off to anyways, like who would care, right? pathetically enough, there are dozens out there who would bite the bait. And for every dozen of them who do so, theres another dozen who would suddenly feel that pang of insecurity and start to up their wedding preparations to match the former.

Nevermind that they are knee-high in deep shit, I mean, debts. 'biar papa, asal bergaya.'
Its about style, beb. Style! *rolls eyes*

And all these, for what? Dun look at me, I know not the intricacies of these minah-minah weddings.

of cos, I might be exaggerating one notch up a bit, and perhaps, just perhaps, generalising a tat too much. Yes, I do admit not all harbour mediocre thoughts as such. Others are plainly hoping that their weddings run smoothly and going about happily minding their own their business scouring for services for their big day. Fair enough.

Weddings are a once-in-a-lifetime affair, and its perfectly justifiable if you want it to be the most memorable event ever.
In fact, it IS the most memorable event. Getting married to the man you love sure qualifies as just that.
and for you to plan that day to match the most joyous occasion of matrimony to your now lawfully wedded husband, is again, very understandable. But bear in mind, you are getting married to the man, not the services. And as grand as everything should be, I still think it should not overshadow the very thing that makes its memorable. The holy matrimony.

Which is why I still dun get how the whole preparation might have taken two yrs to put together. That, I am still scratching my head over. Sure, it is an important enough day, But aside from the make-up artist (who is, vey important, i agree) and the costumes and the buffet spread, to a certain extend, what the fuss about again? Maybe I am missing it, so could someone fill me in?

Maybe I am just lazy, and sungguh tak-kuasa (cant be bothered) with all the planning, or maybe I am just the kind who would be very contented with a simple, elegant affair. As long as the ceremony goes smoothly with no glitches, I look bridal enough and most importantly, my im would now be lawfully wedded husband in the eyes on the religion (and law), no girl could be happier than I am. I would be over the moon, wedged somewhere between 7th heaven and cloud nine.

I want a simple affair. I believe there is nothing wrong with that. I don't need to invite the whole Malay community in Singapore, neither do I need a 'void-deck transformation' as some advertiser put it, to transform the concrete screed floor to a make-believe grand hotel ballroom, red carpet and all.
AS though its the greatest invention since thermal blankets. (nvm the row of mailboxes in the corner, they say. lets pretend they dun exist).
Honestly I think thats quite pathetic. A kolong blok (void deck) is just no ballroom, honey. If I want something as grand as that, I would have booked Ritz. But lets face it, i am not ashamed to say if I want to do that, that is-if I want to, I would have to wait yet a couple more years to save up to that comfortable amount for such an occasion with my hard-earned halal money. mine. not my parents' and not the credit card company. But the reason why I would pass on that even if I have the dosh right now, is simply because, all that lavishness, is simply not my style.

Ritz or no Ritz, getting married to Imran and building our happiness together is all I care about, so I will snort my nose and take my void deck wedding any day.

If I seriously have my way, my wedding would be a small, simple affair graced by the people who matter most. Close friends and family. People who I can remember by a first-name basis, not refer to as 'an uncle-of-an-uncle's stepbrother's kid'. People who could come up and convey to me, straight into my eyes, their utmost sincere happiness and wishes for me. And because of that sincerity, I would walk away blessed.

But I understand I am not an island. And the family on both sides are large. Being the first to get married in the family, feelings that have to be considered. Family name at stake. I understand, perfectly. And so it might be my wedding, but accommodations have to be made wherever necessary. And I would accommodate within reasonable means. Within reasonable means. Mind the italics.

I still want my simple, no-fuss wedding.
And if you are someone who judges me based on the lavishness of my affair, the number of people on my guest list, or the size of my tentage, then you are not anyone whose opinions I would give a flying fish about.

r.z 11:56 PM  0 comments