Tuesday, May 22, 2007

when yana's pissed, must share the piss-ness around.
so there i was, deciding that i have, just have to, break my 2-week old hibernation, before it morphed into a 2-month long hibernation. macam ular.

(the butter-between-anything phase is phasing out-should you wonder.)

gave my receipt to the gym attendant, who happened to be this 50-ish nyonya (and i mean, nyonya) with kohl-rimmed eyes all round (well, i supposed she won't be working out today...) trying to look sporty in the only thing that indicated she has anything to do with sports- a singapore sports council windbreaker. i don't have anything against these attendants really, as un-sporty as they may seem (and they always manage to seem unsporty), spotted in the most ironic place of all. i mean, orang nak cari makan, kan? (its their livelihood, y'na).

did my usual run on the treadmill and proceeded with my usual sets, clearly minding my own business hoping that everyone else also minds their own tepi kain dalam, you know what i mean. so there i was, mosituriser running off my face, perspiration running off my back, counting my crunches, doing it the way i have been doing for years, the way im taught me how to, the way i've been taught in classes, the way that leaves me with the ability to laugh the day after in the only way i could muster-which is to say, like a cramped idiot. in other words, the way that works. when in came the gym attendant (yup, the nyonya with the kohl-rimmed eyes) who did a scan of the area and lastly spotted me on the floor, jittering tummy and all, and decided she needed to give me an impromptu lesson on doing crunches. like its her moral obligation to do so.

just exactly which part of my unsmiling face screamed 'approach me!', i wonder.

"yak yak yaki yak. yaba yaba dadaba"-translated loosely into: yada yada, you're working your lower abs instead... yada yada..

i know my upper, lower and oblique stomach muscles, thank you, nyonya.

and the whole time, i was frowning at her, cos' clearly i felt insulted having being advised on how to do crunches by someone whose main association of the word 'crunch', probably runs along the line of a 1-dollar blue-red-white wrapped candy bar, you know? well, nyonya, i sure don't see YOU doing crunches..

its like walking into a departmental store and have a promoter come up to you recommending a slimming product-the act alone leaves you feeling embarrassed. then that embarrassment turned into a feeling of being brutally insulted when you realise that the promoter herself clearly needs the product twice more than you do, so why doesnt she just shove it?

ya, that kinda feeling...

don't get me wrong. i am usually open to criticisms. and if she looks even remotely fit, even like tunisia-remote kinda fit, i wouldnt have that age-inducing frown on my face. but hey, there she was, looking like she has never run a day in her life, albeit working in a place where she has all the chance in the world do so (as someone i know pointed out), and there she was lecturing me, me, me, who-unfit as i am, was -unlike her- working my ass off towards something (sans any cosy singapore sports council windbreaker, may i add).

so please, allow me to be insulted.

and what did i say in response? " ah.... thanks." in a squeaky, little voice.
STILL CAN SAY THANKS SOMEMORE?
can you believe me?! after someone insulted me like that?
allow me to kick myself in the shin.

why, why, why oh why didnt i come up with a suitable retort, given the 1001 apt comebacks that i could come up with? heck, she is such a prime target for ridicule, any sorta comeback is bound to hit her spot-on, you know.
bull's eye on a cow.

BUT but but, if i were to listen to that mean streak in me and shoot my mouth, etiquette and all outta the flying window, i would probably say," thanks ah. you look just like the kind of person i would look for if i need any help working out."

but then again i imagine, i'd only make her day with such a comment. and face beaming, she would probably re-tell that to anyone within 5 m of hearing distance.
the sarcasm would be totally lost on her. -_-

not worth it, lah huh?

r.z 9:40 PM  0 comments